Here are some practical ways to apply the NLP principles:
1. “The meaning of communication is the response you get”
Use this in daily communication:
– If someone reacts badly, instead of blaming them, ask:
“How can I change my words, tone, or body language to get a better response?”
– After a conversation, reflect:
What did I say / do when the other person became more open or more closed?
2. “The map is not the territory”
Improve empathy and conflict resolution:
– Remember each person’s “map” (view of reality) is different.
– When you disagree, ask:
“How am I seeing this?”
“What would this look like if it worked well for you?
Treat differences an disagreements as differences in maps, not as one person being “wrong.”
3. “All necessary resources to make a change are already within you”
Build confidence and change habits:
– When facing a challenge, ask:
“When have I handled something similar before?”
“What skills or states (calm, focus, courage) did I use then?”
Help others by reminding them of past successes and transferring those strengths to the current situation.
4. To change your life experience, it’s better for you to focus on adjusting the process or perspective rather than your memory or remembered content.
Change how you experience events:
– Notice *how* you think (images, sounds, feelings) rather than just *what* you think.
– For a troubling memory, try:
– Make your internal image smaller, dimmer, or farther away.
– Change the internal “soundtrack” (eg lower volume, change tone)
– Notice how the feelings are moving, and move them in a different way (eg if they are spinning, change the direction)
– This often changes the emotional impact without changing the facts.
5. Feedback vs. failure
Develop resilience and learning:
– When something goes wrong, ask:
– “What did this result teach me about my strategy?”
– “What can I adjust next time?”
All results are situations, if not the desired results, change what you are doing
– Treat every outcome as information about your approach, not a verdict on your worth.
“There are no problems in the universe at large” – Richard Bandler
6. Positive intention behind behaviour
Handle “difficult” behaviour more skillfully:
– When you or someone else behaves unhelpfully, ask:
“What positive need is this trying (badly) to meet?”
(e.g., safety, respect, connection, control)
– Then look for more constructive ways to meet that same need.
Feedback
How did you go? Are you interested in learning more?
Language is fascinating. And when it twists and turns in your mind, new neural pathways can be created. Patterns reprogrammed. New lives emerge.
NLP is interesting to learn. NLP training courses are organised regularly. Personally all around the world, with followup sessions on Zoom
Contact me for more details
Allison Thomas Relationship Catalyst Adelaide Australia
